and all just because of a stupid police officer... The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over in my car: Officer: "License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!" Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything." Officer: "Ok, let's do a little test! Imagine driving in the dark on a highway at night, when you see two lights in the distance. What is this?" Me: "A car." Officer:"Of course! But which one? A Mercedes, an Audi or a Ford?" Me:"I have no idea!" Officer:"So, you're drunk." Me:"But I didn't drink anything." Officer:"Okay, one more test -- Imagine, you drive in the dark on a highway at night, and there is one light coming at you.What is it? Me:"A motorcycle." Officer:"Of course! But which one? A Honda, a Kawasaki or a Harley?" Me:"I have no idea!" Officer:"As I suspected, you're drunk!" Then I started to get annoyed and asked a counter question. Me:"So..., counter question -- You're driving in the dark on a highway at night and see a woman on the roadside. She wears a mini skirt, fishnet stockings, high heeled shoes and only a bra as a top. What is this?" Officer:"A prostitute of course." Me:"Yes, but which one? Your daughter, your wife or your mother?" Things went downhill from there and now I have a court date to attend...
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A Sandy Hook.
I guess they are aimed for younger audience
An idiot who forgot to take it out on time.
A kid answered, called me a cunt and told me to fuck off.
Batman could go to a store without Robin...
Or just mine?
After five or six of 'em he wouldn't be able to drive for shit and nothing he said would make any damn sense.
If men were literally dickheads then headbanging would be a real thing
The first is a superhero. The other is a command!
Like “I am having a stroke”
Ten fucking minutes of peace and quiet.
There's no dental records and the DNA's all the same.
for reacting too much
It's their kids who cause all the trouble.
It’s called the right to remain silent.
Because they're shitty actors
...but he sure as fucking hell saved the History channel.
Duct tape.
Black people have centuries of experience serving. And appearing at the courts, for that matter. _____ xpost: r/sickipedia
How many times does 42 go into 15?
A coat hanger
Niggers would rob me
It was a nice meal and we were ordering dessert. I asked the waiter how much the pie was. "$3.14 sir." he replied. "That's funny." I chuckled. "What's that sir?" he asked. "That Down's syndrome boy just tried to hug that heater and burnt himself." We both had a good laugh.
It's going to make my new gym look really gay.
It would be the first time a Jewish family moved into public housing that was left vacant by a black family......
And the rapist thinks "Wow, this lady is kinky"
I told them: "No, I just brush my kids teeth before I go in."
About €10
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